why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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