It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
