suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
