when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
