Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
