Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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