So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
