Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Boobs are out for the taking
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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