I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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