with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
operation harelip BJ is a go
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
