she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
