I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
