That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
