i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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