Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
