next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
