Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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