I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
