dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
