he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
