i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
