If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
