You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
