I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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