If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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