I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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