DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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