its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
3pm strippers are depressing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
