standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
