I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
