This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Rumble strips road head = magical
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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