I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
