D3 body, D1 cock
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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