found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
