1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
