I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
