it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
