I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
