Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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