True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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