Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm always down for nudity.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
