i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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