Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
