so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
