he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
