yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
