you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
