Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
