we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
