when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
