Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
